Endlessly
by danimoonvstheworld
Summary: Ashley Davies is still getting over a break up which leads her to a downward spiral until the day she meets Spencer Carlin one hot summer day at a Pride festival in L.A. can Spencer help Ashley out of the rut she built for herself or will Ashley slip through the cracks and lose the only one who really loves her?
1. Not With You

_**Hello all starting up this new fanfic and for those who read Cling To Me by l. 09 like a couple years ago sorry for bailing out but for those who haven't I hope you enjoy this fic about our favorite couple :D Also all my chapters are titled after songs I listened to while writing that I felt was relevant to the situation so this is Not With You by Tegan and Sara. Enjoy...**_

* * *

"Wake the fuck up!"

I awoke to Tyler yelling, her slender frame moved frantically around my room trying to make enough noise to rouse me out of my queen sized bed. _Yeah, tough luck._

"Someone never learned to use their indoor voice." I rasp before putting the covers over my head.

"Come on Ashley enough games get your ass up."

"Look whatever you have planned for today count me out."

"Get the hell up and put some god damn clothes on."

I really don't know how she got me out of bed and dressed, but she did and here I was hand in hand watching the sunset on the beach. Everything that happened, everything that she said less than twelve hours ago was completely forgotten all the tears and pain of yesterday was obliterated from her mind. My heart was slowly ripping in two and I was holding hands with the one who caused it, I loosened my grip.

"I love you." Tyler muttered.

Turning to face her I lost my train of thought, Tyler was gorgeous her dark brown curls fell over her forest green eyes catching the setting sun. Her tank top hung loosely showing the little bit of cleavage she had which I peeked at because well I couldn't help myself.

"Don't do that." Tyler added after I hadn't responded.

"Do what?"

"Bite your lip like that." Tyler smiled showing off her perfectly aligned white teeth, with that smile she usually got away with everything and I almost fell for it.

"I should go." With that I grabbed my backpack and left her alone on the beach. I never thought I would do it but I was walking away from her, from the pain, from Tyler.

**ONE YEAR LATER**

"Earth to Ashley." Aiden waved a hand inches from my face.

"Oh, sorry what happened?"

"Pride," Carmen laughed "Plans for pride if you're even going at all."

"Oh,"

"Hey, are you alright?" Aiden put his hand over mine and gave it a tight squeeze.

"Yeah, I'm fine. So where's Kayla again?"

"She's shopping with Madison for tomorrow."

"Why are they even buying clothes for tomorrow when they're not even gay?" Carmen asked picking at her sweater.

"I don't know you girls find any little reason to shop."

"That's true." I laughed ruffling Aiden short brown hair.

"So the plan is set, meet here tomorrow morning." Aiden reminded for the hundredth time.

"Yes, Aiden we know you only said it a thousand times." Carmen groaned "see you guys tomorrow." She waved before running to catch the bus.

"Just wanted to remind you?" Aiden cried out. "Please Ashley don't be late or I swear I'm leaving without you."

I'll be here." I sighed pulling on my aviators and driving off.

Going home at night was my least favorite thing in the world next to waking up in the morning. It also didn't help that my mother isn't all that motherly, always on a "business trip" leaving me with no _type of guidance in the world. However, I do have my half-sister who only lives across the expansive mansion we live in but she doesn't really need me ragging on about how fucked up I made life for myself._

_Flinging myself on the couch that sat in the corner of my bedroom, the same couch Tyler and I would collapse onto after_ a wild night out in a tangled heap of limbs.

_No don't think about it, we've climbed over that obstacle and beside you're better off without her._

Who am I kidding? It's a Friday night and I'm stuck at home feeling sorry for myself.

_You'd probably be doing the same while Tyler was off "working" _

Yeah, but at least I have someone to wait up for.

_Your relationship with her wasn't all that perfect._

That's true a relationship with Tyler was like doing a brain surgery with a plastic fork. I spent three years poking at her seeing how she ticked and nothing she was completely out of it. I mean I had girls throwing themselves at me along with some occasional guys for god sakes I'm Ashley Davies daughter of rock star legend Raife Davies.

_Rest in peace Dad._

Yet I fell for the one who played me for kicks. This was getting tiring.

_Let's just forget about her and tomorrow we'll find a sexual adventure and forget Tyler ever existed. Fuck Tyler._

"Fuck her," I state reaching for the orange container prescribed to my long forgotten mother, pouring several in my hand before washing it down my good friend Jack.


	2. Threads

"Threads"

"Ashley, come on get up."

_Tyler?_

"Huh?" Kyla was shaking me violently awake.

"Oh, thank God you're up. Half a bottle of Jack that could be your new record." Kyla swayed the bottle in her hands.

"Yeah, trying to see how far I stretch it before alcohol poisoning."

"Har, har the Ashley sarcasm at its finest seven a.m. and hung over. You should start getting ready before Aiden leaves us both behind."

"Go ahead I'll meet up with everyone. Just text me where you'll be." I mumble dragging myself of the couch.

"If you say so." Kyla shrugged leaving the room.

My brain was throbbing so much I was convinced that if this pain continued my eyes would pop out their sockets. Finally I stood up wobbling to the bathroom.

_ You can do this._

I started a hot bath throwing in a bath bomb and soaked for about an hour before I felt any type of better. Pulling my hair into a suitable messy bun, took almost twenty minutes before I finally had it suitable. The tank top from last night would have to do for now since my cell phone vibrated persistently, throwing on a pair of cargo shorts and struggling with my converses took me ten minutes. I was finally out the door and in my car but not before I fished out a couple more if moms pills and taking a swig from my flask.

The streets were congested with people who I could relate too I walked through the festival as people handed me various pens, pins, and condoms. I walked aimlessly until finally I found the group hanging over the barriers across the street.

"Excuse me, how do you get on the other side of the street?" I asked a burly officer.

"You have to walk three blocks down to get across."

"Thanks." I smiled before getting lost in the crowd to hop the barrier.

I was now walking with the parade as people flung bracelets at the crowd.

"Oh my god Ashley hey Miss. Davies." A girl called out motioning at her camera. "Can I get a picture with you?"

"Sure." I smiled at the camera as she took a selfie.

"Thanks so much you're awesome RIP Raife." She called out as I walked away.

"Hey, guys." I called when I saw Aiden and Kyla.

"Finally, holy crap I thought you were gonna miss the parade." Aiden laughed.

"So did I." I waved at Madison and Sean who were nestled in each other's arms.

"Hey, Ash." Carmen smiled looking at the girl next to her.

She stood hanging on the barrier with jeans and a loose fitting tank top her blonde hair was kept neatly behind her ear her blue eyes had a certain glint in them that made me breathless, she was gorgeous.

"Hey, I'm Ashley." I stuck my hand out awkwardly which she took with a smile.

"Spencer."

I Stayed for a while longer looking at Spencer from the corner of my eye as she enjoyed the parade.

"So, what are you?" I finally got the courage to ask.

"What?"

"I meant like are you gay, straight? All of the above?" I pondered at what I just asked, I mean I'm not one for labeling but others are so why not ask?

"Spencer-sexual." She smiled amused.

"What?" I laughed "What does that mean?"

"It means I'm into whoever catches my eye. Spencer-sexual." She explained I couldn't help but smile at her.

"She's straight." Aiden stated laughing "Just let Ashley down lightly Spencer."

"Shut up Aid." I punched his arm playfully "well I got to get going catch you all later."

"Come on stay." Kyla pleaded.

"I got things to do."

"Like what?"

"Stuff." I smiled.

"Fine meets us at Greys later. I'll text you when we're on our way."

"Alright." I waved at them before walking away but not before I caught Spencer checking me out.

I really had nothing to do to be honest maybe shower properly now that the throbbing subsided. When I got to my bedroom my phone rang I answered without checking the caller i.e.

"Kyla, I said I'd meet you." I answered frustrated.

"Hey, Ash." Her voice seemed to echo in my ears making my stomach twist.

"Tyler?" Finally finding my voice.

"Yeah, look I know its been awhile but I'm coming back down to Los Angeles and thought-"

"That things would maybe work out now that you're a bit more mature?"

"Not exactly in those words but I want to talk it out I know I fucked up but you have to give me a chance."

"I did give you chance and you fucked me over."

"I know I did and I apologize bu-"

"But nothing. Fuck you Tyler." I yelled before throwing my phone aside.

My heart raced as I held back the tears that threatened to spill.

_Fuck her._

I reached for the orange container taking several more chasing it down with half bottle of Jack I had left.

_You're fine._

_You're fine._

_Just breathe._

_Breathe._

_Come on Ashley just breathe._

An instant wave of calmness washed over me, closing my eyes I took another sip before opening them again. The orange container lay empty in my hand. I looked in the mirror across from me and realized for the first time.

_I'm not fine…_


	3. Cigarettes

**Hello all apologies for not posting weekly I suck ast disciplining myself but anyway hope you enjoy the title from chapter two was Threads by Now Now and this chapter is Cigarettes by Sick of Sarah alright enjoy ;D**

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Sitting in the shower is what I find I've been doing lately, sitting there as the hot water pelted my back with a consistent force. My phone vibrated from the white tiled floor where I left it, next to it was the orange pill container on its side. Pretty soon the house phone ringing echoed off the walls into my ears as Kyla's voice broke through.

"Ashley since you don't like to answer your cell I thought the house phone would do Aiden is driving to pick you up so we can get something to eat before hitting Grays so hopefully you're ready. Alright see you soon."

I lifted myself from the tub shutting the water off and grabbing a clean white towel rubbing it against my face for a while before snapping out of it and getting dressed. I pulled on jean shorts and clean tank top by that time Aiden was honking his horn maniacally.

"Ashley?" he called out from downstairs.

"Yeah, just give me a minute" I was staring at my mirror getting my eyeliner just right.

"Hey." He smiled leaning his bulky body on the doorframe.

"Hi." I pause to smile lazily at him from the mirror.

"You alright Ash you seem off lately."

"Yes, I'm fine Aiden thanks for the concern but I swear I'm fine." I finished up.

"Look, I know Tyler hurt you and all but I'm here if you need someone to talk to."

"I know."

Aiden had the best intentions but no one needed to be dragged and caught up in the middle of my dramatics.

"Are you ready? I'm starving." He groaned rubbing his washboard stomach.

"Yeah, let's go"

"Finally!" Madison exclaimed when we arrived "I thought you guys got lost on the way over here."

"Yeah, Ashley was taking her sweet time."

"Give me a break." I laugh taking the empty seat directly across from Spencer. Time seemed to slow down at the moment and we finally made eye contact, she smiled at me then looked down at her menu.

"How'd you get the scar?" Spencer asked pointing at my arm.

"It was a dare," I laughed "Aiden dared me to do the ice and salt challenge. It hurt like hell."

"I have the same one." Aiden showed her his arm "it's what happens when you drink your weight in alcohol."

"Interesting." Spencer laughed.

God she was so gorgeous I wouldn't mind waking up to that angelic face in the morning and I wouldn't even want to kick her out. That was a big step for me even though for some it was easy to cuddle up next to a stranger in the morning and never seeing them again after. I'd rather let it come and watch it go no need for some sappy love bullshit that wasn't going to last call me jaded but sometimes it just doesn't exist.

"So, what's next?" I asked as we exited the restaurant.

"We're going to go home." Madison motioned at Sean.

"Yeah, we'll catch you later." Sean waved leading Madison to the car.

"Well, I want to shower before we go to Grays so we can separate for now and text each other to meet up again."

"Sounds like a plan." Spencer stated.

* * *

We ended up not going out Kyla, Aiden, and I ended up watching Netflix on my couch drinking beer.

"Truth or Dare?" Kyla asked handing me a beer.

"Truth."

"Do you like Spencer?"

"Does it matter if I do?"

"Yes, I can hook you two up." Kyla beamed at the thought.

"No, thank you I don't need someone playing Cupid for me." My phone vibrated as I said this "Excuse me."

I looked at the caller I.D. as I walked towards the kitchen, although I erased Tyler number from my phone I couldn't erase from my mind and recognized it as hers.

"What?"

"Look can we just talk, hear me out." Tyler answered rushing through her words "Hello?"

"I'm listening."

"I'm so fucking sorry Ash I screwed up. I'm an idiot for breaking up with you can we please just meet up as friends nothing more I promise."

I pondered for a bit before agreeing and hanging up the phone.

_Just friends…_

"Yeah, right." I scoffed I knew her better than to believe that.

_I'll make sure it stays just friends_

* * *

We met up for lunch the next day at some Italian restaurant. I stood outside waiting like I always did for her, like a lost puppy dog here I was looking like an idiot. I made sure I wore something that would confirm how much she fucked up but damn was it uncomfortable.

"Hey." A familiar voice called from behind me I turned to face her.

"Spencer hi." I smiled pulling down my crop top as if it would hide what I wanted to show.

"Are you alone?" She looked around.

"No, Yeah…" getting the foot out of my mouth I tried again "I'm waiting for someone and they're late."

"Oh, I see if you don't mind I'll wait with you."

"Not at all." I smiled genuinely for the first time in a long time "So what have you been doing?"

"Shopping," she held up her bags guiltily "I was bored and I couldn't help myself."

"I know the feeling." I laughed.

"Yeah, I'm new in town and the style here is completely different from Ohio." Spencer pointed at everyone in shorts.

"Definitely right about that." I looked at her attire of Hollister ripped jeans and burgundy shirt.

"I should show you around sometime and go shopping." I suggested.

"Nah, I'd rather go to the beach." She awkwardly crossed her arms.

"I could show you that too." I laughed.

"Ashley," Tyler called out wrapping an arm around my waist pulling me closer to her. I squirmed away from her hold when Spencer's face changed from her gorgeous smile to a look of discomfort.

"Can you get us a table?" I asked Tyler before she ran inside reluctantly.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't be." She cut me off with a smile.

"It's not what it seems we broke up-"

"With a smile.

"It's not what it seems we broke up-"

"You don't need to explain I'll see you around." She backed away.

"Yeah," I waved.

* * *

"Who was that?" Tyler asked when I got to the table.

"No one thanks to you, what do you want to talk about?"

"I haven't seen you in almost two years Ash are you really going to greet me like that?"

"Yes, I am Tye I have things to do which all of them seem to consist of being far away from you." I sip at the water that was placed before us.

"Would you like to try a delicious appetizer-"

"I'll just have a Jack on the rocks." I state handing the waiter back the menu.

"Okay, and for you Miss?"

"The same and also whatever appetizer you suggest thank you." Tyler eyed me before speaking. "Fuck it I'm not going to play around Ashley I came back to L.A. to be with you I want to make this work out between us. Give me one last chance I'll do whatever you want, whatever you need me to do." Tyler pleaded her eyes were damp with tears as the waiter placed our drinks in front of us.

"It sucks."

"What?" she sniffled sitting straight up in her seat.

"It sucks you feel like that." I gulped down the brown liquid.

"I know I've felt this way for a while now. I need you Ash."

"You need me?" I smiled sympathizing her.

"Yes." She laughed.

"At one point I needed you Tyler and guess what? You fucked up so that pain you feel that hurts so bad when you think about me shove it up your ass because I felt that close to a year now and I'm over it." I stood up to leave.

"Ashley, don't leave."

"Fuck you Tyler."


	4. Scar

**Hello all sorry for not updating for two months I suck but I intend on being better with updating so her you go fourth chapter to Endlessly- Scar by Missy Higgins **

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**Spencer**

Of course she has a girlfriend, I mean she is Ashley Davies. Maybe what Carmen said about her isn't all true. Then again what if it is, I mean that girl who Ashley was waiting for was completely gorgeous, probably better experienced than I am. I climb into my jeep throwing my bags to the side. Before I occupy my thoughts on Ashley I should focus on my own shit that I tend to pile on myself.

Now the only reason I went to pride was because I really didn't have anything better to do when Carmen invited me the day before. School was out and the last relationship I was in ended back in January despite our constant communication. That's what I surround myself with but he's reliable on boring nights where I have absolutely nothing to do but think. Pride was a fun experience, surrounding myself with all that good energy made me reflect that I shouldn't take things for granted nor should I be afraid to be who I am.

"So, if you were to go gay who would be your type?" Carmen asked as we looked around the crowded street. My eyes landed on the brunette walking toward us as she flashed a big smile.

"Her." I pointed discreetly

"Ashley?" Carmen looked shocked.

Let's just erase that from memory. I could still fell my cheeks hot when Ashley introduced herself. I wasn't gay, I never even dated a girl or met someone who peaked my interest but Ashley just seemed different I felt the need to be her friend if I couldn't get close enough to her to maybe be something more. My phone sounded from the passenger seat luckily I was at a red light so I could answer.

Movie Tonight? It was Adam like I said before he was convenient to have around.

Sure.

Pick you up at 9?

Okay.

When I got home Glenn was washing his red mustang music blaring from the stereo.

"Hey sis." He shouted over the constant bashing of drums.

"Hey, I'm surprised Dad isn't yelling at you to turn it down."

"He left another distraught teen in need of his help."

"You're such an ass." I wacked him with my shopping bags.

"I'd be careful if I were you I have a hose and I'm not afraid to use it." He threatened aiming the hose at me.

"Do it and I'll tell Dad how he got that dent on his bumper."

"You win." Glenn stated hands up and backing away.

I raced up the steps two at a time and collapse on my bed I must have fallen asleep because when I got up my phone read 8:13 p,.

"Dammit" I muttered looking around the room for a towel before I checked my phone.

What are you doing for the 4th? Carmen's text read.

Nothing really. Why?

Come see the fireworks with us J

Sounds like fun I'm down.

Good, I'll text you later with more deets.

Surprisingly I was ready when Adam called to tell me he was outside.

"Hey, Chelsea! Bye Chelsea, Bye Glenn!" I blurt before rushing out the door.

'Hey." Adam smiled when I was settled in.

"Hey,"

"How was the parade?" he asked driving off.

"It was fun, different but in a good way."

"I see you're repping the colors." He held up my wrist. The one I caught after it being thrown into the crowd.

"Oh, Yeah I guess I never got the chance to take it off." I smiled stretching the rubber bracelet around my wrist. That was I lie I could've taken it off I just chose not to for what I don't really know. "So what movie are we watching?" I add to avoid the awkward silence we've grown accustomed to since we broke up.

"I'm not sure there's two that start at 9:30. You could choose which one."

"Alright." I murmur looking out the window for the rest of the ride until my eyes caught on a familiar brunette crossing the street. I sank in my seat to watch without being recognized as she walked over to Aiden and Kyla who waited for her at the other side.

"Do you know them?" Adam asked.

"Uhm, yeah I met them at pride."

"So why are you trying to hide?" the light changed and I began to sit upright again.

"What?"

"You ducked your head like you didn't want to be seen." He repeated as he parked the car. The thing is I didn't want to be seen, not with him at least. I thought before following him into the theatre.


	5. Make Me Fade

**Make me Fade by K Flay**

**Enjoy :D**

* * *

Two missed calls from Tyler and one from Aiden, I call him back.

"Where are you?" he answered.

"Went to talk to Tyler but that's not important what's up?" I ask looking out the dirty window.  
"I see your car near the strip. Kyla and I need a ride if you don't mind."

"Yeah, sure. Why don't you have a car?"

"We took the ride with Madison and she ditched us like she usually does."

"Alright, I'll be there in ten." I hang up the phone and get up from my seat looking around the dingy apartment for my bag.

"Leaving already?" Kobe asks from her bedroom.

"Yeah, got to get going but thanks I owe you." I smile shoving the package of various drugs in my bag.

"No, problem just be careful with that eight ball Ash don't go crazy and don't get caught it's the last thing we need." She smiled but her eyes though bloodshot held concern.

"Don't worry and just because it's legal doesn't mean you can overdue it." I laugh taking the freshly rolled blunt from between her lips "for the road."

I was home when I lit up in the privacy of my own bedroom. I took the small manila envelope that Kobe gave me out and dumped its contents on my dresser. There was an eight ball, a handful of oxys, and two blunts courtesy of Kobe's abundant stash. I went to work on the eight ball cutting it into two even lines then snorting it. My eyes watered instantly I looked towards the ceiling my nostrils burning from the sensation as my phone began vibrating in my pocket. Another missed call from Tyler, another fuck not given I started putting everything away hiding the manila envelope in my drawer. I walked towards the shower no way was I going to mope around the house tonight.

My head was pounding when I woke up in bed half naked with a stranger equally naked by my side. When I opened my eyes I realized I was not even in my room.

"Fuck." I slowly pulled myself out of bed, the room smelled of stale cigarettes and dirty clothes, I searched for my clothes on the filthy carpet with no luck, the next best thing was to rummage through the drawers so I did pulling out a blue shirt three sizes too big and a pair of boy briefs. I looked around grabbed my boots but not before stealing a glimpse of the stranger I shared a bed with. Her short blonde hair was still spiked with gel from the night before as she slept mouth hanging open revealing a tongue piercing.

No wonder I slept with her she was a spitting image of Tyler with blonde hair instead of brown my head throbbed at the thought. I wobbled out of the bedroom into the hallway to be met with an angered red headed girl.

"Who the hell are you?" she barked as I reached for the door.

"Hey, I'm just leaving so there's really no need for introductions." I rasp.

"There is a need when you're sleeping in my apartment with my girlfriend." Her voice was sharp piercing my ears and sending shocks of pain through my body.

"That's something you should really take with her I didn't know she was in a relationship and even if she told me I was too drunk to remember so sorry."

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" she yelled before slamming the door behind me.

"Bad night?" Aiden asked as I burst through the doors and into the kitchen.

"Bad week." I growled pouring myself a cup of coffee.

"Whose clothes are you wearing?" Kyla asked.

"I don't know but her girlfriend is pretty ticked."

"Shit Ash." Aiden muttered walking towards me for a hug.

"Don't" I back up "No, sympathy. I did this to myself."

"Alright, next subject. Do you have plans for tomorrow?" Kyla questioned as she stirred sugar into her tea.

"No, why?"

"We're going to set the grill up take advantage of the pool and watch the fireworks." Aiden stated.

"And later Carmen wants to go to the beach." Kyla added.

"Yeah, sure sounds good." I mumble "I'm going to take a shower and get out of these clothes."

After I showered I looked for my phone only to realize that I left at the strangers apartment with much convincing, Aiden agreed to come just in case red head tried to kill me.

"Who is it?" I heard the red head ask from the other side.

"Uhm the girl from this morning. I... uh forgot my phone."

"Amy!" she yelled before opening the door "Your girlfriend is here for her phone."

"I'm not her-"before I could finish the girl was already at the end of the hall.

"Hey." Amy came out of her room and walked towards me. The resemblance to Tyler was uncanny the only difference was the blonde hair and her eyes were a hazel instead of the forest green but other than that they could be twins. She closed the door behind her and pulled out a cigarette out of a fresh pack.

"Sorry about her she's still hurt over the breakup" Amy smiled putting the Marlboro between her lips then offering me the pack.

"I'm just here to pick up my phone really." I stated handing the pack back to her.

"One smoke and you can leave. We really didn't get a chance to talk last night I don't even know your name." I followed her up the stairs to the roof where we stood awkwardly looking at the city lights.

"Ashley." I answered before lighting up a cigarette.

"Amy." She smiled showing off her perfectly white teeth despite the fact that she smoked. Butterflies took over my stomach until I realized why her smile was so identical to Tyler's and instead of the fluttering feeling I felt my stomach dropped anger rising in my throat. "You must be someone important because your phone has been going wild." She stated breaking my thoughts.

"Yeah, my friends are pretty smothering." I laughed nervously checking through missed calls from Tyler, Kyla. Aiden and Kobe.

"I know the feeling, again sorry about Ivory she's not used to the breakup yet."

"Yeah, I didn't know if you guys were together or not she kind of went crazy on me this morning."

"It's been four months since we broke up but I can't find a place I can afford on my own just yet so I room in her apartment." She sighed scratching her head taking another pull of the cigarette.

"Look its nice talking to you, but I should really get going."

"Yeah, it's cool go ahead sorry for holding you up. If you want to hang out I took the liberty of adding my number to your contact." She blushed.

"Alright." I smiled "see you Amy."

Tyler called another three times before I finally answered the phone.

"What?"

"You can't do this Ash. Let's settle this." She pleaded

"No, Tyler you settle it I had my closure."

"I'm sorry Ashley just give me one last chance. I love you."

"You only love me when you can't have me that's not healthy." I admitted it was the first time I came to the conclusion that we would never be good for each other and hell did it hurt to say it to her. I opened the handle of vodka I bought earlier with Aiden and took a gulp letting it burn its way down.

"Yes, we are Ash you have to listen to me."

"I don't have to do anything Tyler I'm hanging up now." I stated before I threw my phone on the bed taking the handle and plopping on my couch.


End file.
